A picture in a quiver

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 23:01:52 GMT

He'll stay with me this time.

meme!

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:07:30 GMT

1. Tell me something obvious about you.
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.
3. What is your biggest fear?
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money.
6. What is your most treasured possession?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know.
9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.
20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it?

Answering Machine

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 02:22:57 GMT

Currently not in sol system, but if you'll leave me a message I'll get back to you.

Love you all! If it's really urgent, get a hold of Dinah. See you all!

39.3 Burn the Midnight Oil

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 20:19:33 GMT

Roy got home from work at the League at midnight and sighed at his sink full of dishes, messy living room, and undone laundry.

Laundry first, Lian wanted her pink socks tomorrow… he got a load going and went to do the dishes, making Lian's lunch as well.

The countertops were clean, finally, and he wearily pulled the clothing from the washer, into the dryer, cursing aliens in general for the way the muscle in his back throbbed as he tried to move.

Toys on the floor took longer, but he got that done, too, and his League paperwork…

It was nearly three as he stumbled to his bedroom and collapsed into bed. But due to burning the midnight oil, the house was tidy, and the kitchen and bathroom were clean, and lunches and dinner for the next day were made.

And now, it was time to rest.

…at least, until Dick got in.

37.5, FUBAR

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:50:00 GMT

FUBAR

Sometimes I feel like my relationship with Dick is just… well… FUBAR. I love him, I really, really do. And I'm pretty sure he loves me.

…

yeah, that's part of the problem. 'Pretty sure'. He says it all the time, these days, but I just remember way too long he wouldn't say it, or if he did it'd be so quiet you couldn't hear, or when he'd kiss me when he was leaving, when he thought I was asleep. It hurt, then. And maybe that hurt has bled over to now, when it shouldn't.

…

Why shouldn't it hurt? Well, he's here to stay this time.

…

Yeah, this time. And I believe him, really I do I just can't help but prepare for when he does leave me. I mean… I'm not half good enough for him. Maybe I should talk to Kory, see if between us we can keep him. Or something. Or maybe he's not meant to be kept, I think that might be true. Isn't it just some people's nature to not stay, to never stay? Even if they love the person they're with? And if it's his nature… I shouldn't demand this of him. Sometimes I just want to scream at him, if you want to go, go! I won't keep you! God. I want to keep him. I'm just not sure if I should. Or if he even can stay. That's what I guess I'm trying to say.

…

Y'know what? I don't even think it's the relationship that's FUBAR. I think it's me. It's gotta be me. No, that's not low self-esteem talking. It's experience.

…

No, I'm not going to give up. What makes you think I'm going to give up? Dick never gave up on me, I won't give up on him just 'cause I'm scared that we've gone too far to ever have what we should have had… what I want us to have.

37.5, FUBAR
Muse: Roy Harper/Red Arrow

31.3

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 04:40:44 GMT

Roy closed his eyes in the darkness of his room and wondered why, exactly, he did this to himself.

And why he let Dick, who was sleeping peacefully in his arms, do this to him.

It was just so stupid… and over something as small as hair color. Roy hated to be reminded that he was the last redhead in Dick's life to be chosen for a serious relationship, that he was the one on the side, as it were. He loved Dick with everything in him, and usually the hair color thing was a joke- but Dick had just admitted that he'd been attracted to Jason, his own brother! Because Jason had been dared into wearing red hair dye by Tim. How much was too much? And how much was Roy really expected to take? He knew Dick loved his hair, had always known it, and he knew Dick loved Kory's hair and Barbara's hair…. It was practically a fetish.

Correction. It was a fetish.

He sighed softly, trying to lie comfortably. Dick had said, again, that he loved Roy, that he wanted to be with him and would stay but Roy… simply couldn't believe that.

He'd been wrong too many times before to really, truly believe him again.

Even though he wanted to.

Prompt: How much is too much? (31.3)

Character: Roy Harper/Red Arrow

Word count: 226

Big brother's prerogative

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 00:30:37 GMT

Roy's cell phone rang and he opened it,

"'Aylo, you haff reeched de help desk of Roy and Lian." he greeted Cissie in a hokey accent. "How may I help yoo?"

Week 32. 1

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 01:01:36 GMT

Muse: Roy Harper/ Red Arrow
Fandom DC comics
32.1 'Worthwhile'

"You already have a daughter, mister Harper, who is seven years old… why do you want to become legal guardian to a second girl who is… seventeen years old?"

Roy looked at the judge and took a very deep breath. "'Cause I think it's worthwhile." He said, "She's the daughter of a friend of my family, and her mother was declared unfit, as the court knows. She's a good girl and frankly, I don't want to see her have to spend holidays and summers alone and have to jump hoops for the next few years trying to get things done. She deserves a home and a family."

"You feel very strongly about this." The judge noted.

"Yeah, I do." Roy squared his shoulders in his suit. "Look, your honor, I do have a daughter. The joy of my life… and Cissie's a sweetheart and I love her, too. She's a little sister to me. I want to give her a home and a family like I didn't have when I was her age. Someone took me in, thought I was worthwhile when I was her age, a little younger. I'm passing it along."

The woman sat back in her chair and said, slowly, "Mister Harper, I had no intention of granting you custody. Your record- your profession, and your home life are not what I would typically call healthy. However, upon meeting you and further consideration I grant your request. This court grants you custody of Cissie King-Jones."

"Thank you, your honor!" Roy grinned.

Merry Christmas, Arrowette

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 02:19:09 GMT

Roy grinned. Christmas was always a great time of year, and this was looking to be an especially good Christmas. He had Lian, and Dick, and Cissie on weekends...

And he'd get her paperwork done soon enough, he figured. And talk to her... but for now, it was time for his six-thirty phone call,

"Hey, Ciss!" he said when she picked up, "Feeling better, hon?"

RP with Dinah

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:13:13 GMT

Roy sighed, and picked up the phone. Sound normal, sound okay...

"Hey, Dinah." he said, "Wanted me to call?"

Damn gossip heroes...

Could use the therapy, now

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:01:43 GMT

So Roy guessed he needed therapy, now.

Why? Oh, 'cause he was an idiot.

He'd taken him back. Like an idiot, he took him back, and believed him and… he bit back a sob. Such an idiot. When'll you learn the 'leaving laws?'

He threw his fork at the dartboard and it hit bullseye... like always. He snickered painfully. Always did have dead on aim for anything but love. Then he missed by a mile.

Craving for nothing hit him like a ton of bricks and he took a deep breath, going into Lian's empty room. She was at school... she'd come back, but for now she wasn't there and so he buried his face in her pillow, his shoulders shaking, but not crying because she'd notice if her pillow was still wet. He rubbed at his arms and sat up. Had to do something, and dammit, the house was clean.

He finally broke down, in the kitchen. He laid his head down on the table and cried like he hadn't since his baby'd been gone. Deep, gulping breaths of sheer pain scorched his lungs and his fingers curled tight by his head where there had been long hair, a long time ago... twice Dick leaving him ago.

He screamed, then, raw rage and pain and just so frustrated. He'd tried, tried so damn hard but he hadn't been able to keep him, he never could keep him, and... he covered his face and cried, before going to his bedroom to strip his bed and wash the sheets. There would be no... no allowing himself delusions. He'd wash Dick's scent from the bed and the pillows and throw out the extra toothbrush and razor and... he opened the extra drawer, taking out Dick's clothes, opening the window and setting them outside. He knew Dick'd be by for them.

He stripped the bed... and allowed one second of weakness, burying his face in the sheets and inhaling deeply, but he couldn't smell past his clogged sinuses. He shoved the bedclothes in the washer viciously, and went to wash his face. He needed to calm down. He had two hours to calm down. Then Lian'd be home. He'd take care of her, and then he'd go to bed. And tomorrow he'd send her to school and he'd go to work. And then he'd come home. And put her to bed. And then he'd go to bed. And then... and then.

He knew he needed to call someone... because his skin was crawling with need and he needed distraction and he couldn't see his baby like this. He couldn't let her see him like this. He couldn't... he wouldn't call Dinah. She'd pulled him out of his Dick-mess so damn often... Ollie wouldn't understand. Mia had way too much of her own shit. Connor... couldn't talk to Connor. He opened his phone and dialled Cissie. Please. Please. Please...

Cissie picked up on the third ring, sounding a little breathless. "Hello?"

"Hi, Ciss." Roy said, trying not to sound too ghastly, "Is this a bad time?"

"No, it's fine, I was just coming in from class--is everything okay?"

Heh..." Roy chuckled painfully, "Everything's... everything's normal." he wrapped his arms around his middle, tucking his feet up onto the countertop he was sitting on.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Are you sure? Because--you don't sound normal..."

"Dick left me." Roy choked, tears pouring from his eyes again. How could he have been so stupid? "That's pretty damn normal." He closed his eyes, "I'm sorry." he said, "I shouldn't have said that." he shouldn't have snapped like that... he really shouldn't even be calling her like this. She had to feel like Donna had, way back when she actually had had a conscience.

"Oh, Roy," Cissie said quietly. "I'm sorry. What--is there anything I can do?"

"No...I just need t'talk to somebody." Roy sniffled unattractively. "I... I... can't be alone right now, and so I... called you." whoa. He was pathetic, and he thumped his head down on his knees. But her voice made him feel better, warm and compassionate and gentle.

"I'm glad you did," she said. "What... do you want to talk about it?"

"I can't believe I was so stupid!" Roy said tiredly, "I believed him, again, when he said this time he wanted... wanted more. I can't believe I trusted him. I always take him back... no matter what. And I always believe him when he says it's the last time, this time he's going to... going to... stay with me. But he never does, I can't ever keep him no matter how hard I try or what I give up or..." he covered his face in his hands. "I didn't ask him to say he loved me! I didn't ask him to say he'd stay with me! I didn't! I was willing to just... I don't know..." his voice had risen, and now it had dwindled again, cracking.

Cissie made a soft shushing noise over the line. "It's okay, Roy. You weren't stupid, and it wasn't your fault."

"It was incredibly stupid." Roy disagreed, "This is the... hell... third? time."

"I'm so sorry," she said quietly. "But--this is not your fault, Roy."

"His commitment issues are nearly as big as my abandonment issues." Roy said miserably. "Well, now I'll use the therapy." Roy laughed harshly, scrubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand. It was his fault, of course it was, it always was. There was something wrong with him.

"At least you'll have something to talk about now?" she suggested meekly, attempting a joke. "Seriously, though--it's not your fault. It's his."

"It's not his fault." Roy said automatically, staunchly. He chuckled softly at her joke, "Yeah. Guess so."

I'm sorry, Roy. I wish I could do something for you."

"It's... it's okay." Roy scrubbed at his face, "Really. I'll be okay. I just need to talk to someone." The jonesing was calming a little. He could focus past the itch in his veins.

"You can talk to me anytime."

He bit his nails absently, "I just... he's always so sincere." he said weakly.

Cissie took a slow breath. "Maybe he meant those things when he said them."

"I sure hope so." Roy sobbed. He covered his mouth with his hand to still it, bit his lip and went on, "I think he did... He just... doesn't... I'm not enough for him."

"Oh, Roy. I'm sure that's not true."

"It is true." Roy said stubbornly. "I've never been enough for him."

: "Hey," she said, a little more sternly. "You said he has committment issues--that doesn't mean it has anything to do with you."

"Yeah... except when you start seeing a pattern you wonder if it's you." Roy bit his lip, "Sorry. That was really really selfpitying." He thwacked his head against his knees, tucking his arm under them and sighing.

"It's okay, Roy," she said insistently. "I mean it. It's not your fault, though. Dick's issues are his own."

"Yeah, but..." Roy shook his head, "I should've been able to do something."

"Like what?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know...I should've given him more, or asked less..." Roy said miserably. "But that's just it I didn't ask for anything."

"I don't think there's anything you could have done. I don't think it's got anything to do with what you did."

"No?" Roy clutched the phone.

"No."

Roy rubbed his palm against the fabric of his jeans, "But... I shouldn't have trusted him, I shouldn't have let myself love him again." he admitted bitterly, "I was so stupid."

"You weren't stupid. It's not like you can just--turn that on or off."

"I should be able to.... oh God..." Roy bit his lip, "How'm I going to explain this to Lian, again?"

Cissie took a slow breath. "What did you tell her?"

He covered his face and moaned, "He told her he was going to stay this time.."

Cissie was quiet for a moment before saying thoughtfully, "Tell her that he meant it when he said it, but that he couldn't. That it's not because of anything either of you did, but that it wasn't a promise he should have made, because he didn't know if he could keep it."

Roy thought about that, "I'll try." he said softly, "But God, we were just getting back to normal again, and now..." he wiped his eyes. "Yeah. That's a good idea, thanks Cissie."

"You're welcome. I wish I could help more."

"You're a great help, hon." Roy said softly. "Look... can you babysit a bit this weekend? I'm going to be going out."

"Absolutely."

"Thanks." Roy took a deep breath. "Hon, thanks for talking to me... you have no idea how much I needed you."

"Oh, Roy," she said, a little sadly. "I mean it--anytime. You've been there for me so much lately, I'm just glad to return the favor a little. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Roy scrubbed his eyes, "Really. I'll even get used to it, sometime."

"You'll be okay. I know it."

Roy chuckled, painfully, "I know how to pick myself back up, I guess... just takes a little help at first."

"Anytime you need me, Roy, seriously."

"I know. Same for you... Cissie?" Roy paused, "Hold tight to your Bat, baby. He'll be happier if you don't ever let him go."

Harpers' Christmas Tree

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:43:16 GMT

Christmas Gift Toy & MySpace Layouts at pYzam.com

Week 26.1

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:30:13 GMT

Green.

*laughs*

Really? You just had to pick green, randomly, and hold it up? Why? I mean, is it because you say ooooh, I have a JL-er who was a sidekick, let me probe into his sidekick psyche? Is that it?

Well. I'll indulge you. 'Cause I'm stuck in here another half-hour and you're a bastard.

So, yeah, green. Green Arrow, Green Lantern, best 'buddies' in the business. Then there's the kid in red, dangling along behind. Seriously, why red? I mean, I love red, but red is what you aim for... whatever. Does it matter? I don't think it does.

Green Arrow was my mentor. Green Arrow is my only living father. Green Arrow left me, and threw me out when I needed him the most. He's around, now, when I need him, but sometimes I wish he'd been around then.

Though if he had been I wouldn't have my baby. So it turned out okay.

Green. You've gotta be shittin' me...

rp for cisskabob!

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 13:15:05 GMT

Roy'd had Cissie over for the weekend, ostensibly to help out with Lian, but in reality because Cissie living at Elias really and truly pissed him off. She was a joy to have around, and Lian adored her.

Wasn't sure what Dick thought of her, though, and his mouth set in an unhappy line. Busy. He was probably just busy...

Anyway, that wasn't what he was thinking about. He was thinking about *Cissie* and how lonely she must be...

"Hey, Ciss?" he leaned over the kitchen countertop, "Wanna make cookies?"

week 23.2

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 15:19:59 GMT

Muse Roy Harper
Prompt: Week 23.2 Past Present and future.

Past present and future….

Well, gods know I've got a past, and a hella one. But that's past, I'm not going to wallow in it or repeat it because you're NOT doomed to repeat history. You're doomed to remember it though. I wish I could forget parts of it.

Present, well, now, that's where I live! /smiles/ Presently, things are going good. Well, as good as a hero's life ever goes. I've got my baby, I think I've got my Robbie, and I'm learning my little sister. I've got Ollie and Dinah and Connor and Mia and presently, that's all I need to be happy. I've got a job I'm good at, and a famiy that loves me. Really, asking for more would be tempting fate.

Future… oh, I don't like looking there, don't like seeing when my baby's going to grow up and be gone and when I'll finally lose the strength to draw my bow, or when I… I get that phonecall. Yeah, I know I shouldn't be thinking I'll be the one getting the phonecall, what with Dick being younger'n me, but, dammit, I can't help but feel that he'll lead the way in that, too.

Near future, that's bearable. I'm… looking into things to see if there is any way I can help Cissie. I don't like the thought of her being stuck at that school so much, even if she's a real trooper about it. Kid her age shouldn't be on her own that much. ~~dammit, Bonnie, you thought you were doing her any favors?~~

RP with cisskabob

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 00:17:21 GMT

Roy was waiting for the call, or for Cissie to show up.

Robin'd be telling her any time now, and, well... Yeah. He was a big brother. Again.

Week 19.4

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 23:00:09 GMT

Foreman: "Noble"

House: "Moronic--it's a synonym" House and Foreman from House

/Laughs/ Some people call being a hero noble, say it’s the greatest thing you can do with your life. Some people, like me, like Dick, hell, our generation of heroes, know it’s the only thing they can do with their lives. Regardless, noble? Hardly.

Moronic? There are those who say that, too. I mean, really, tights and capes and masks and shortpants? What the hell, right? I mean, if that’s not stupid, what is? Only thing stupider is being a heroes’ villain! Ok, don’t tell any Bats, but… I can see how some kinds of crime would /work/. Identity theft, for one, most of us in the business could do that as easy as pie and not get caught. But the big villain thing? What the hell? You wanna rule the world? Why? That’s stupider than trying to save the world that doesn’t really want saving sometimes.

… of course I am not in this suit to save the world. If I were, I’d be a Bat. Nope. I’m in this suit, and I do this job, because it’s what I’m good at, and my baby girl needs her daddy to do something she can be proud of.

And she can be proud of me.

Muse:Roy Harper/Red Arrow
Fandom: DC comics

Locked to Mrsarcastic

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 23:50:45 GMT

It's Ollie, isn't it?

Week 20.3

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 01:56:40 GMT

muse: Roy Harper/Red Arrow
Fandom: DC comics
Scent.

Scent memories’ the strongest, people tell me, and I guess maybe its’ true.

I’m not all that sure what they mean, but I know I associate smells with people, and smells with feelings… like I’m scared of wood smoke, always have been. Oh, now, a little bit’s fine, but when it’s, y’know, everywhere, then it’s scary and I’m not.

I’ll always associate the spicy-meaty smell of chili with Ollie, and… come to think of it, I’m always trying to make mine smell like his. Never can. Dunno why. I keep trying,t hough, ‘cause he makes the best damn chili… I wish I had some, now.

I’d know Dinah’s scent anywhere, in any crowd. It’s warm, and soft, flowery but not overpowering,even when she’s all sweaty and filthy from work she has the gentlest, sweetest scent of any woman I’ve ever known.

Then there’s Dick. He smells like chalk, and his soap is kinda generic, for the way he was raised and all, you’d think he’d smell like cologne, but he doesn’t. Just clean and fresh with chalk… or sweaty. I like it when he smells sweaty… /grins/

And my baby girl’s momma, she smelled like flowers, just stronger than Dinah, nearly overpowering when you’d bury your nose in her throat… it was intoxicating. I loved it, and sometimes I catch a hint of her on the breeze.

My baby girl smells like a little girl should. Like cookies and bubblebath and that body spray she begged for, the pink kind with flowers on the front that matches her hand lotion she never uses but wants anyway.

I guess those’re scent memories, aren’t they?

week 18.1

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 20:43:52 GMT

Sight… is invaluable to me. I’m an archer. I see my target, I raise my bow/crossbow/gun/whatever I’ve got and I hit it. If you can’t see your target, you’re in trouble.

That said, if you can’t see yourself, you’re also in trouble. Nobody can see all of themselves, but the parts they can see, they need to recognize, and the parts they can’t, use a mirror. That’s what therapy is, for me, a mirror to see the parts of me I can’t see to recognize, and to learn my own face, as others see me. But regardless, sight is invaluable to me. I would be lost without it, like Dick without being able to fly.

RP with Hero_of_haven

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 02:14:05 GMT

"Lian, no! We had pizza last night, tonight we're having soup." Roy said firmly. He'd had it cooking in the crockpot (also known as the gift of the gods to men) all day.

"Don't like it." she sighed, and Roy shrugged.

"Don't have to. You do have to eat it."

The doorbell rang, and he frowned. He wasn't expecting anyone... he checked the door feed. Oh. Dick... and Lian's gym bag.

He went to answer it. Maybe DICK would appreciate his soup.

Took this from Masked_merc. Was bored...

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 23:05:18 GMT

Waiting for Lian to get home from school, so yeah.

1 question...
1 chance...
1 honest answer...

That's all you get. Ask me one question. Any one question, anything, no matter how crazy it is. An honest answer. No catch.

All comments will be screened so your question stays private between you and me, and only you will get to see my answer to your question. But I dare you to repost this and see what people ask you.

ooc: obviously, they're not really screened, where's the fun in that?

week 17.3

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 22:19:17 GMT

Chivalry? Isn’t that dead?

Well, I’d have to say it is and isn’t. I know it’s dead for one woman I love, and it’s not for the other.

Cheshire. My baby’s mother. I sure as hell wasn’t chivalrous to her. I love her and if she needed me I’d be there in a heartbeat. But she doesn’t want me, anymore, doesn’t want a man’s hand on her arm or holding the door for her. I know she still loves our daughter. She has to. I tell Lian she does love her every night, and if she didn’t love her I wouldn’t have Lian, right? I mean… never mind. If I had it to do over, I might have tried a little harder to… I don’t know. It’s not like I could change her.

The other woman I love, Dinah, now there’s a lady who can handle chivalry. She doesn’t need it, hell no, she can take care of herself, but she still thinks it’s nice. And Ollie really should try it sometimes. She likes, y’know, little things. But I guess just about every boy wants their mother treated right, any boy worth his salt that is. She’s not my mother, really, except she’s the closest thing I’ve ever had, and I know I’d give my last breath to protect her. Isn’t that what chivalry means?

hey there

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:33:15 GMT

(locked to identity)

Hi, Y'all know me. If you don't, why're you here?

Unless you're looking! *grins* Roy Harper, Red Arrow, or Arsenal.

Just signing in to get this thing started. Lian's due home from school in a bit, and I've gotta finish my reports for the league and this pot of chili.

Oh. Uh... anyone know how to get chocolate stains out of white clothing? somebody got Lian a white shirt and it's already a mess. I'm good with most stains but this one? I've soaked. I've scrubbed. And she loves it, or I'd just toss it! so yeah. Anyone?